I haven’t been on a plane for quite a few years, but on my trip up to Oregon for the Intel Summit, “Upgrade Your Life,” I has the pleasure of reacquainting myself with one of my favorite travel magazines, SkyMall. I guess that people actually buy the stuff in here because SkyMall has been around for many, many years. I actually saw a couple of products that I have reviewed in there as well (I won’t mention names for fear of embarrassing them). Perhaps it is due to SkyMall that I have such an attraction to gadgets. As a kid or even teen, I remembered thinking how I really wanted to get some of the items listed in there. However this time, I turned to SkyMall more for comic relief!
There are some products in there that qualify for the “what were you thinking” category. So I decided to quickly list out a few that really made me slap my forehead or groan or simply just laugh.
So let’s dive right in (these are from the “Late Spring 2010” catalog) and are in no particular order:
The Telekinetic Obstacle Course
Ok, first of all, if you catch me wearing a contraption like this and it is not for doing brain surgery or something, smack me in the head! Basically, this thing measures “theta waves” and then based on how well you can concentrate, the monitor senses changes in theta waves which then controls the speed of a fan that blows a light weight ball around an obstacle course. For someone like me whose ADD seems to be getting worse daily, I fear that the ball would just sit there and then suddenly fly across the room when I got distracted. And wait, you also need to turn a dial to move the board so that you can maneuver through the course. That is WAY to complicated for me, I mean I can barely text while driving and not spilling my coffee! (I wonder if I can mount this thing to my dashboard…)
Price: $99.95 [SkyMall link]
The Wrist Phone Carrier
I just LOVED this one! But you really have to see the picture to believe it. To me it seemed straight out of Get Smart or Inspector Gadget meeting Barbie or something. It is billed as a “unique solution to the misplaced cell phone.” Basically you strap this thing to your wrist and then attach your cell phone to the wrist strap. Then when you get a call, you flip it open to answer, like a communicator on Star Trek (?)! And I loved this line, “it can also make a fashion statement”…uh yeah, like you have no sense of fashion at all?! Here is a cheaper way, just Superglue your cell phone to your hand!
Price: $29.95 [SkyMall link]
The SkyRest Travel Pillow
I think the picture of this crazy inflatable pillow is what got me. If I had a guy sitting next to me that whipped this thing out, proceeded to inflate it and then pass out looking like that, I would probably ask for another seat…or plane. What will come next? The inflatable padded cell for those people using these? How about a inflatable club so I can beat this guy senseless for even thinking that this was a smart thing to buy. And what happens when his meal comes? Does he just roll it down the pillow and into his mouth? Is there a Whoopee Cushion version? THAT would be cool! The weird thing? They changed the color of this guy’s shirt in the online store version…hmmm.
Price: $29.95 [SkyMall link]
The Pet Wheel-Away
Wait, it’s a back pack, no, it’s a suitcase on wheels, it’s a travel bed for pets up to 15 pounds. This item was in the gray area for me. I almost see its practicality for dragging your lazy ass, overly pampered pet around. It almost makes me wince as bad as when I see people pushing their dogs or cats around in a child stroller. Sure, pets are members of the family and practically children for many people, but really??!! And it meets airline carry-on regulations. So, if I stuff my under 15 pound child in it and wheel it around the airport, will I get funny looks? What about when I try to stuff the pet (or child) and bag in the overhead compartment? It could be a real money saver on tickets!
Price: $119.95 [SkyMall link]
The PowerLung
Reading the title made me think that it was actually an iron lung on steroids…well it almost is. With this device, you can make your lungs do a bunch of sit-ups or pushups. It is designed to exercise your “breathing muscles”. So, if you are dead, this product is probably not for you. Basically, you slap this baby up to your mouth and start hyperventilating…and then call it exercise. Forget about doing something that actually moves your real muscles, which, by coincidence, does actually tend to exercise your lungs. And if you get the really really expensive one, you can be labeled a “sport!” The others are “BreatheAir” (something you don’t normally do, right) and “Trainer” (just to get you ready to be a “Sport”).
Prices: BreatheAir – $99.00; Trainer – $109.00 and Sport – $119.00 [SkyMall link]
So, if you ever find yourself on a plane, do spend a bit of time with the SkyMall mag. What are some of your favorites? Be sure to post some here! Oh, and I’m really sorry if I offended anyone who actually bought these items…I’m sure that there are a few of you out there!
HTD says: Yes, there are some items in SkyMall that are pretty darn cool, but come on, some just really make you scratch your head!
5 Responses
You have to check out http://www.kasperhauser.com/books/skymaul, a parody of SkyMall by the local SF sketch comedy group Kasper Hauser. Even more hilarious than the real thing.
There was an episode of Victorious on Nickelodean this past weekend where one of the characters was addicted to buying a ton of the ridiculous items found in SkyMall. It was hilarious! Sorry I don't have any recommendations of ridiculous items for to check out…I don't really read the SkyMall when I travel, nor have I traveled by plane in about 5 years.
I have to say that I've never actually looked at one of those SkyMall magazines, but after having read your post, I'm definitely going to have to take a look the next time I'm on a plane! Your reactions to the products are hilarious, by the way. I actually laughed out loud when you asked what the guy with the inflatable pillow does when the food arrives. Some how I can't imagine airline food rolling down the pillow all that well….lol!
Thanks for the comment. Yeah, SkyMall mags are really great fun in so many ways!
Love that you chose that SkyRest Travel Pillow! Every time I get on a plane I immediately open the SkyMall catalog, find that photo, tap my wife on the shoulder and ask “Do you want one of these?”
We refer to it as “The Wedge.”